It has been years and I have actually ditch writing all together. I can't remember my last poem, my last story or my last piece of any kind of writing. I've grown up and somehow lost pieces of me with it. I tried but I dont have the heart anymore, sketchings became something that is constantly on my mind but i cant bring myself to start again.
I feel numb most of the time.
I stopped admiring beauty in arts, I stopped singing for no reason. But the ideas didn't.
Heart breaks did not stop nor do things I want to draw of. I guess i'm just too busy distracting myself from what a lousy life I'm living.
I came back to Malaysia for good. I'm not the same girl anymore, I'm getting married. I must be the perfect adult woman. As my wedding date comes closer, my mind gets too busy sometimes. The what ifs is killing me. I wished I never stop playing basketball, i wish i still go to kickboxing classes, i wish I accepted the offer to be someone great, i wish I still go out with my girls and forget about the harsh reality on weekends. But now, I've started working and there are rules I have to follow, I'm becoming someone I once prayed so hard not to be. I'm different, i can feel it. but there's nothing that i can do now that it's too late. I wish I have more time during my study life so I can make better decisions. But that's the thing about time, you can't go back.
someone please tell me I'm doing okay because I truly believe I won't be anybody anymore.
I feel numb most of the time.
I stopped admiring beauty in arts, I stopped singing for no reason. But the ideas didn't.
Heart breaks did not stop nor do things I want to draw of. I guess i'm just too busy distracting myself from what a lousy life I'm living.
I came back to Malaysia for good. I'm not the same girl anymore, I'm getting married. I must be the perfect adult woman. As my wedding date comes closer, my mind gets too busy sometimes. The what ifs is killing me. I wished I never stop playing basketball, i wish i still go to kickboxing classes, i wish I accepted the offer to be someone great, i wish I still go out with my girls and forget about the harsh reality on weekends. But now, I've started working and there are rules I have to follow, I'm becoming someone I once prayed so hard not to be. I'm different, i can feel it. but there's nothing that i can do now that it's too late. I wish I have more time during my study life so I can make better decisions. But that's the thing about time, you can't go back.
someone please tell me I'm doing okay because I truly believe I won't be anybody anymore.
