Lie : You are my last hope.
Truth : I'm hoping you are my last one, and I won't have to start over again after this. I hope we'll get married and will spend the rest of our lives together, even not happily all the time but at least together. With you, my last hope.
I had my first heartbreak when I was nineteen. I guess after the first time, I got used to seeing myself starting over and over after every relationship because my determination to keep fighting to make things work just faded along with pieces of my heart that he broke. He was my firsts, yes with an s. He was my first all day long date, my first movie marathon buddy, my first cook-together partner and most of all my first person to whom I planned my wedding with.
Everything was so smooth, he knows everything I need him to know. He knows how to react when I'm mad, he knows when i need my time alone and he knows when to say the three words to make me believe again. My friends called him Mr-know-it-all but me, I think he just Mr-know-me-all. It was years with few fights and laughters that we stopped suddenly.
No fights, not that typical "we faded" thing. We just fall apart one day. And that is what I regret the most till this day, that I never know what happened, what pull us apart. I still keep all his stuff though, not because i still want him to be mine, but because I'm so used to having them with me for the years I was with him.
I still have Fugi, no worries he sleeps with me every night. And i still wear your hoodie sometimes, because as I said few years back, it fits me perfectly. Just like how your fingers used fit the spaces between my fingers.
